Just wanted to say this (Originally published 11/22/14)

I know this will be a shortish, disappointing post after my long hiatus, but I figured that if I want to get posting again, I should write what comes to me, even if I'm exhausted and haven't been able to put in the time to write something as great as I wanted to.

So this is what I want to say today: I am incredibly blessed. I am so blessed there are not words enough to wrap my arms around and fully embrace all the goodness I've been given. I just do my best to feel it and thank my Father in Heaven for it.

The biggest reason I'm feeling blessed is not something I'm ready to share with all the wide internet at this point, so I will share one moment from today instead. It was simple, but beautiful and full.

Part of the reason I haven't written recently is because I was getting ready for a trip to Australia. Now I'm on that trip, and trying to soak in every moment I have here. Guys, I am not kidding when I say it has been the stuff of dreams and so much more than I hoped for. Again, I am unable to adequately describe how wonderful it has been. I've learned and experienced so much, and I have two more weeks to keep doing the same.

Today, among other things, I went with my friend and his family on a little hike to see the Babinda Boulders in Babinda, Queensland. There were a few different lookout points posted around Babinda Creek and the Boulders, and as we walked from one to the other, it became more and more beautiful.

As we walked through the rainforest, a light mist began falling. The earth was damp and living, full of leaves and moss and the smell of rain. Trees towered overhead, bursting with jeweled greens. Everywhere I looked there was growing.

It was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever witnessed. I felt like the hand of God had reached out to touch my heart and whisper,

"I made this. I didn't have to. There didn't have to be rainforests, or Australia, or Babina. I didn't have to bring you here. I didn't have to show you this. You didn't have to meet the people you are here with, either. But you did, and I brought you here, and your eyes are blessed to behold. This moment is for you.

And darling, beloved Child--I love you. "

Good Ol' Will

I've been thinking about doubt a lot lately, and this quote I memorized as a freshman in college came back into my mind. I love it, and wanted to share:

Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.

--William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", Act 1 scene 4

Guidance

I was thinking about some of my some spiritual lessons from my life recently, and an experience I hadn't thought about in a long time popped to mind. I learned a lot from this experience, and the lesson has continued to help me, so naturally, I want to write about it. :)

In my church, there is no formal preacher position. Instead, members of the congregation are asked to share short speeches called talks. We each study and take turns sharing with each other what we have learned. A member of the congregation leadership will approach you, and you can accept or reject the invitation to speak. There is one Sunday of the year where all the children under the age of twelve present a program about what they have learned. Once you are twelve, you may be asked to share a short talk by yourself. (When a teenager is asked to speak, they typically do so for a short period of about 3-5 minutes, with the rest of the 45-minute meeting split between two or three more experienced adults.)

When I was 14 or 15, I received a call from one of the congregation leaders. He asked me if I would be willing to be the youth speaker in an upcoming sacrament service. He told me the topic that he would like me to speak on, and I accepted the assignment as an opportunity to learn and grow.

However, as I began to study the topic he had given me, I felt strangely unattached to it, despite finding some fantastic scriptures I could share. The more I tried to make the topic he had given me work, the more I felt unattached, and even deadened, towards it. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I'd worked on it about a week. I'd tried writing my talk at least three different times on the assigned topic, but it simply never jelled. Finally, I concluded that if it felt so odd and wrong, maybe I should switch topics.

The whole time I'd been studying and preparing, I had run across other scriptures that resonated deeply. I had felt drawn to those scriptures, and had even seen ways the principles in them had affected my life. I gave up trying to wrestle the original assignment into a talk, and wrote my talk based on the scriptures that had spoken to me instead. I planned on getting up and saying that although I had worked very hard to try and make my assigned topic work, it had never felt right, so I had changed what I was speaking on.

That Sunday, as the services began, the program was announced. I was very surprised to hear that the lady who was speaking before me would address the topic I had been assigned, and that I would speak on a topic which had never had mentioned to me. The more surprising part was that despite it not having been mentioned to me, the announced topic was the very one I had felt drawn to and prepared for in the end. For one of the first times in my life, I was certain that the Lord had guided me, and I felt an immense gratitude and wonder that He had. I was shown, in a very practical way,  that He is more involved in our lives than I had previously supposed. He was aware enough of one congregation to know who they needed to hear speak on which topic. He was aware enough of myself and the other lady who was speaking to know who would benefit most from speaking on one topic over the other. He was able to enact His plan for that specific service, despite the simple mistake of a man who'd misspoken when he called to give topics to speakers.

As I have progressed in my life, I have continued to have my eyes opened to the Lord's individual concern for us, His children. There have now been numberless ways that I have felt or seen His guidance in my life, or lives of those around me. He is aware of us. He does hear our prayers, and above that, answer our needs. I know this is true, Amen.


"His purposes fail not, neither is there any who can stay his hand." --Doctrine and Covenants 76:3